A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

I like to eat people

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

How old is victor? Old

alston wang

Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

Knock knock Who's there My dick

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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