If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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As for regarding the Win/Win/Win/sore ass kid comment below... Why not? There is too much Win in order to worry about some fucking soreass thats just gonna grow up to be a slut... RIGHT? Your friendly r*pist Neighborhood r*pist Moral: Man: "He or she who knows I am right, will be be the only one left" Btw, I am the Anti-God, what else can I be? You are the ones that killed Christ Ahahahahahaha! Political humor bonus because my satisfaction of owning you all and your entire screen. Are you Right Winged? Or wrong Winged?

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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math test 2=2

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Women's Sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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