What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

penis hehehehe

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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