roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

Pickles

Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

Women's rights...

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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