Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Civil Rights.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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