Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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Tennesse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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