did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what's red and blue? your heart

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -62

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +59

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Ms. Smoot's class

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops