What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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the real mccoy

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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I was in the grocery store on a sunday afternoon, and i saw a black man. To my surprise, HE DIDN'T BUY ANY FRIED CHICKEN?!?!

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops