A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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hey.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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alert("The Game");//

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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Josh kissing a girl

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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