A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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