your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

you will now laugh.

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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