whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

hey.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

Chuck Norris died.

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

Oh, I must be hearing things.

BOOBIES!!!!!!!

Ass

PENlS.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...