Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Penis-Pump

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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