How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Kah-________-

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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poop

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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