there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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womens rights

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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