How do you kill a black guy With a gun

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

Penis-Pump

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

Derpy Hooves is retarded.

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

gay rights

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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