Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

Paul Dylan King!

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

There's no "i" in tim.

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

What is big and white, not the moon CC

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

my mom raped yerr foot

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...