What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Nah

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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