I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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The 19th Amendment

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops