Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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my mom raped yerr foot

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What is a question?

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Baseball

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What sucks?

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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stop it ryan vallee

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Penis!

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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Guess what? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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