Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops