a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

A British man walks into a dental office.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

Patrick is gay

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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