cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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Ass

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Rebecca Black

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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