My mom just died....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

22

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops