Do you need any assistance?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Ha

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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whats really hot the sun

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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