why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

h

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats 9 + 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops