- Anti Joke

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

-2

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

-2

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

-2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

8=D

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series