A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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96

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops