Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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2

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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I can Nazi

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Looks through the peephole.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops