How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A British man walks into a dental office.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops