What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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8=D

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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