Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

hi. thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

thumb_up thumb_down -30

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -34

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +59

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

223

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops