A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Hellen Keller

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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