Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Is this a chair?

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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