Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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