Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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