timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

gay rights

like my drawing of a white person?

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

Is this a chair?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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