What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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alert('hiiii');

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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