Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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roses are red violets are blue i hate black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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