whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Womens rights

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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