What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Amputations.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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