Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

"Hello." "Hi."

What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

what's funnier than hell? heaven

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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