Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Compton

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

maddie latino

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

Woman's Rights.

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

Hey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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