Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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