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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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