omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

You know George Washington? He died.

Grapefruit.

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Knock, knock. Come in!

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

American Idol

Icecream

Yo moma is so fat. yep.

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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