TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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imadewords

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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