Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What is brown and sticky?

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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