How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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The glass is half an hour.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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