What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Yeah right loser!

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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What flys? A fly

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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YOU IS DUM

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Sarah Palin is President

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Rob Bell

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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