Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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robin, get in the car.

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Vagina-Boob

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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The glass is half an hour.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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